Online predators lurking on your child's computer, waiting to entice your child into a sexual encounter is a scene played over and over again in the media and movies. Several studies say the real danger lies closer to home.

Retired Diamond Missouri Police Officer Jim Murray isn't looking for a date when he logs in online. Instead he's prowling for predators. Murray says, "I like the cat and mouse game." As a grandfather, chatting isn't just crime fighting it is personal. Online he pretends to be "Cindy" a 13-year-old girl. Murray says, "When a man wanted Cindy to bring along a 6 to 8 year old girl that was tough. These guys are so filthy it's like taking a bath in sewer water."

His passion has sparked 22 online sex sting investigations and arrests. He logged on for KSPR and just moments latter he was chatting with a man who said he’s 28. Murray says, "What interest would they have in a 13-year-old girl."

Plenty of statistics give parents reason to worry their child could be chatting with older strangers online. In 2006 a National Center for Missing and Exploited Children survey of teenagers found one in five said they had had an unwanted sexual solicitation online. Shows like "To Catch a Predator " can also leave parents with the impression there are predators lurking in every chat room but a closer look at the stats proves stranger danger might not live up to its hype.

CASA or Court Appointed Special Advocates Spokesperson Dan Prater says, "In reality most child abuse occurs at the hands of family." Prater should know. He works with children who've been abused in Greene County. Prater says, "Our problem is out of control and has been for sometime." He’s sees child sexual abuse happen at home more than online. Prater says, “The daughter that’s 12 was molested for three years by her brothers and it turns out it was the mom who started it that’s what we’re dealing with.” However, there's no episode of "To Catch a Parent, Preacher, or Friend" on T.V.

Greene County First Assistant Prosecutor Jill Patterson says, "All sexual abuse besides a very small percentage consists of stranger attacks. I've prosecuted maybe three in my thirteen year career." Patterson has spent her career putting abusers behind bars. She agrees with a new study that suggests online predator hype distorts public perceptions and prevention. Patterson says, "The media giving the impression that there are strangers attacking children is inconsistent with my experience.

Even the statistics are inconsistent. That survey that showed one in five teens had been sexually solicited included instances when teens were flirting with other teens. The most recent study found most online predators don’t lie about their age or their sexual interests." Prater says, “If they supply the trust and the parents don’t, of course they’ll trust them.”

New research says the online pedophile panic has caused parents to focus on telling kids what not to do like sharing personal information or visiting certain sites. Patterson says, "It's a good message but it shouldn't be the only message. We need to talk about what sexual relationships are appropriate.”


Detective Jim Murray says it doesn't matter if a predator gains and abuses a child’s trust online or in person. Murray says, “That’s sexual misconduct with a child.”

He says reading sexually explicit words meant for a 13-year-old's eyes just once is enough to make him track predators out of his closet for no pay. Murray says, “I know it’s the right thing to do morally and legally.”

Prosecutors and child advocates say even though the threat isn't as great as first reported, online predators are out there. They say parents should warn children about all dangers and mot just strangers. They say it is important for parents to talk about sex, relationships and criminal behavior.

To view the study click here