Daughters are not always appreciated in china, where the government rule is one-child-per-family… so Renee and Jamie traveled to the other side of the world to bring Grace into their family.

ReNee says, “We took all our three teenagers with us and I think it connected them to her in a way that they couldn’t have gotten if we’d come back with her by ourselves.”

Foreign adoption is growing in popularity as couples look beyond our borders to expand their own families. But having kids who look different than the rest of the family brings a few challenges.


ReNee Calcara – mother of 4 says, “Just getting her with other families who look like ours, and see all the other adopted families and kids like her who are adopted as well, and there’s hundreds of em.”

Glenn Lutjens – counselor, Focus on the Family says, “Anything that can be an affirmation to them of who they are… just as a family, we recognize your cultural origin, and we want to affirm that.”

Providing cultural ties to the homeland is important…Renee and Jamie say Grace will be learning at least some of her native language. It’s also a good idea to inform extended family, ahead of time, that you’re adopting a foreign child… unfortunately; some relatives might not be supportive.

Jamie Calcara – father of 4 says, “I would have a few words for someone who would say I could never love an adopted child like my own child… we all need to be changed to know and to recognize and to learn that a child needs a home.”

Jamie’s own father was very supportive.

ReNee says, “As we told him, and as we told him he stood up and shook Jamie’s hand, and I was like wow, it was like he was honoring his son for doing that, it was very special.”

Renee and Jamie say it’s hard to describe the joy Grace has brought to their lives.

Jamie says, “Until you bring someone in and have the opportunity for love to blossom in your heart for someone that you’ve had… no tie with, from the other side of the planet, to realize the power of adoption in love.”

Other than additional travel expenses, foreign adoption costs can be similar to those for domestic adoption… Jamie and Renee figured out a creative way to pay for it.

ReNee says, “We did a home improvement loan for our adoption, and she’s improved our home a great deal!”