Suzanne Himka says, “If my own flesh and blood didn’t love me, didn’t want me, then who really did?”

Although Suzanne had adoptive parents who repeatedly expressed their love, she struggled with feeling rejected by her birth parents. As an adult she was able to make contact with both of them… and learning their stories changed her perspective entirely.

Suzanne says, “She was 16 and her dad never told her that he loved her… she was looking for somebody, a male figure to tell her that he loved her… she said - my mom wanted me day after day to get an abortion but something told me I just can’t.”

As she learned about the tremendous struggle her birth mom faced during pregnancy - Suzanne was able to see her adoption as a gift – not a rejection.

Suzanne says, “That made me have a heart for her because she valued my life, had she given in, I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t have the children I have.”

Willy Wooten – counselor, Focus on the Family says, “People make hard decisions and sometimes they go back and regret those and to have somebody go back and ask them about that or find out, helps provide a bridge I think for better understanding and for forgiveness.”

Regardless of whether adoption is involved, knowing what your parents went through when they were growing up can shed an entirely new light on your relationship with them.

Suzanne says, “I didn’t know if she loved me, if she cared about me, so once I found her and found out her story… my perspective of her did change and I appreciated what she’d done for me.”

Willy says, “When we find out information that we didn’t know before then we have a choice to make, do we become more upset and resentful or do we become more accepting of that’s the way it was.”

And with understanding and forgiveness comes the opportunity to rebuild relationships… in Suzanne’s case, she’s now enjoying a close relationship with both her adoptive parents and her birth parents.