Tim and Susie are seeing a marriage counselor. You might assume it’s because they had big problems. But you’d be wrong.

Tim Martin says, “ Dysfunctional people go to a counselor, and everyone’s dysfunctional, none of us can get out of that one, none of us had perfect parents, perfect upbringings, or perfect lives now.”

Dr. Juli Slattery says, “ For our physical health most people are willing to go to their family doctor - get a checkup, just make sure everything’s going okay, it’s a sense of reassurance, it’s a sense of catching problems before you even knew they were there.”

Most of us don’t like to admit when we’re wrong or acknowledge that there are areas we need to grow in, but giving your marriage routine checkups helps work through small problems before they become big ones.

Susie Martin says, “And the counseling just helped us to find out what was beneath the surface, what was down there festering, issues that hadn’t been resolved.”

Even though your relationship may not be in a lot of trouble… it’s important to understand that the counselor does not have a magic wand… and even routine checkups require you to do the work.

Dr. Juli says, “If you went to a personal trainer, you wouldn’t expect them to get your body in shape, you’d expect them to tell you what work you need to do to get your body in shape, but you’ve gotta do it, and it’s the same thing with a counseling. A counselor will guide you but if you don’t want to do the work then you’re wasting your money because you’ve got to be more committed to fixing the marriage than the counselor is.”

I believe every married couple can benefit from counseling, because none of us have perfect lives, or had perfect parents. So don’t be afraid to ask for help – it can avoid big relationship headaches.