Last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy lived up to its name: Things got super freaky. At least, the surgeons tried their best to convince us that they were superfreaks to the extreme. We actually think that Seattle Grace felt pretty lackluster – and that seems to be the norm for this season. Shonda, step it up! Give us something interesting to talk about! For now, we’ll throw you a bone and analyze those weirdos running around with scrubs and scalpels.
Derek’s estranged sister, Amelia, hops on a plane from Private Practice in sunny SoCal and crosses time slots to visit to Seattle. Amelia brings along her mile-high conquest, but it’s less inappropriate than it sounds. Bro has a brain tumor, and neurosurgeon Amy sees the perfect opportunity to bond with her neurosurgeon brother.
Why the estrangement, you ask? Well, Amy’s a bit of a loose cannon and has a shady past, but that’s not the meat of the issue. Derek is the second Shepherd male to get shot – he was just the lucky one who didn’t die. Amy and Derek both witnessed their father’s shooting, and both have lingering issues. By avoiding his family, Derek tries to ignore the issue, but the siblings eventually break down some of their barriers. It’s like they always say: Nothing brings families together like surgery.
April hasn’t swiped her V-card yet, and her promiscuous (slutty) coworkers tease her relentlessly about her virgin status. Even though we judge her predictable lie – her first time was on a beach, at sunset, and it was a magical experience – this scenario gave April a chance to develop as a character. After she cracks and admits to her virginity, she calls out her tormentors on their freaky flaws. Now, we’ll peg her as the quiet, observant girl who would just be full of hilarious insight after a couple of tequila shots.
Why did the virgins congregate at Seattle Grace last night? One patient was a 27-year-old virgin who was waiting until her wedding night to get intimate with her fiancé. However, the blockage in her lungs turned out to be a condom, and her fiancé wasn’t happy – at all. Who did that condom belong to? A banana, actually. The patient went to a bachelorette party and inhaled the prophylactic while practicing for her first time. So breathe easy – fidelity and chastity really can prevail.
We’re not doctors, so we don’t have to be polite about illness. The real superfreak was a patient who was so covered in warts that he resembled a diseased oak. We gasped out loud, and trust us, we’re pretty jaded after our years of TV viewing. Bailey gasped, too, after a spider scuttled out of her patient’s hand during surgery.
Sad patient quote of the night: “I get to go from looking like a tree to looking like a Frankenstein.” And your wife gets to leave you, too.
Derek forces Christina to assist on his surgery because she is “family,” like it or not, even though he wouldn’t have chosen to associate with her in a non-professional setting if it weren’t for Meredith. Well, isn’t that heartwarming? But she resists, acts like a petulant teenager, and discusses her future career as a plumber with the overly understanding Owen.
Speaking of Owen – are any real men as intuitive and well-spoken as the boys on Grey’s? Here’s this gem from Mr. Hunt: “I would love you if you were a plumber…but would you love you if you weren’t a surgeon?” Deep. Moving. We refuse to buy it.
We came thisclose to seeing some Callie-Arizona action – and Christina and Owen almost got to be their unwitting audience.
Avery’s first time was with two girls, and he “knew exactly what he was doing.” We don’t doubt that.
Were those two tidbits very important to the episode? No, not really. But they sure are fun to think about.